God is Love

Money has been tight with me working part time and trying to chip away at medical bills and new expenses, ie Nolan.  This month was too close for comfort when I did math at the end of last month.  But now... I feel like I am a cat with 9 lives... every time I think, how the heck are we going to make this work, it does, things fall into place and it works.  Nick and I have been so so blessed, and though sometimes (or a lot of times, to be honest), I say or think that I don't believe in God, I think I do now.  I don't think I believe in God as a person confined to a physical form as limiting as a human body, but God, Alpha and Omega, in every thing... in all that is living and that contains energy.  That is the God that I believe in and that I give thanks to.  So, thank you God, and not only do I say (type) the words, but I will strive to always be grateful and to bring that energy to the people I am with.  God is love.  I am loved.  I love in return.  Glory be to God.      

27

Yesterday I turned 27.  For whatever reason I have always thought 27 was the perfect age... still young but people still take you seriously and most car rental places will rent to you without you having to pay extra (you know, because I rent cars so often).  I have also recently decided that want to be more present for my life, not regretting or reliving the past and not wishing for the future to get here in a hurry.  I think part of being able to successfully be present is to be grateful... so in Honor of my 27th year of life, here are 27 things I am grateful for:

1.  My husband

2.  My son

3.  My family

4.  My friends

5.  My freedom

6.  My education and the opportunity I have to go back to school if I choose

7.  My health

8.  Running water

9.  Hot baths

10.  Chocolate

11.  The beauty of nature, especially trees

12.  A job

13.  That I am able to own a home

14.  That my car is paid off

15.  That I live close to my family

16.  Air conditioning 

17.  Cute shoes

18.  Contacts/eye glasses

19.  That there are good people in the world

20.  Food, all of it

21.  Baby formula, so that when Nolan refused to breast feed, I had another option

22.  My wedding ring

23.  Pain medication

24.  Toe nail polish

25.  Music

26.  TV

27.  Beautiful fabric and stationary

Missing Everything

I totally miss my phone… actually it’s the internet being available on my phone that I miss!!  Really? Is saving $30 per month REALLY worth it?  *Deep breath* I suppose I just need more time to get used to lugging out the lap top.  And that’s not the only thing I miss… For whatever reason, I have been feeling the pain of all of our cutbacks recently.  We have not had cable TV for 2 years and only recently have I missed it.  Maybe it is because I am spending more time at home… though watching more TV is not what I should be doing when my house is a mess, but it would make the every 2 hour bottle feedings a little more entertaining.  I have also been trying to cut back on my fuel usage, one because it is super expensive these days and I’m trying to be “green.”  Let me tell you! It can be lonely at home all day with only Nolan to talk to.  Two days a week my cousins sweet 4 year old comes over and we learn about letters (I teach her and she teaches Nolan… it is a CRACK UP!!).  Never have I been so grateful for someone to talk to… even if she is 4.  

eating some yummy cereal

Nick and his mini me

I also miss my tiny baby (I guess he was never that tiny)!  We went to the doctor this past Monday for Nolan’s 4 month visit.  He weighs 18lbs even and is 27 inches long.  He is HUGE!  Doctor said he is TOTALLY ready for solids (good because I already started giving him cereal and bananas and we have since added squash and oatmeal to our options).  She also said that over all (size and development) he is more like a 6 month old.  He also got 3 shots… mommy was brave and Nolan calmed down quickly afterwards.   He is pretty much able to sit by himself.  I still build a fortress of pillows (same ones I used to surround myself with when I was preggers) around him just in case, but in another month I don’t think he will need them.  He can even hold his own weight for long periods of time (30 min).  All that being said, he HATES tummy time still!  He is really good at rolling from his back to his tummy but as soon as he gets there he gets totally ticked off about it (it may be mean, but it is so funny to me).  So I help him roll back over after a few seconds of watching him scrunching his little nose in frustration.  He is also starting to react when we go to pick him up.  He will tighten up like he is doing a sit up when you put your hands by his armpits.  He hasn’t learned to reach for us yet, but I have a feeling it is not far off.  Nolan has also recently decided that mommy and daddy are comical at times… and will give us a little giggle.  He still LOVES TV… Elmo seems to keep his attention the longest.  My most favorite thing about my sweet boy is that every (and I mean EVERY) time I say hi to him he smiles…and my second most favorite thing is rocking him to sleep.  I know I’m supposed to put him down before he is fully asleep to get him used to falling asleep on his own, but we don’t have a problem with him sleeping through the night so I don’t feel like I’m doing too much damage to his development.
              

Also, a little shout out about mother’s day… I had to work so Nick took Nolan around to all of the mother’s.  First to Grandma Gailfus, then to mommy (during my lunch break) and finally to Grandma Day.  We got pictures with everyone except mommy because he slept during my hour with him (I’m actually really sad about that). 

A little like Oprah...

So I know that I am stealing this from Oprah, but I don't feel bad about it because I'm not making any money and it's about personal growth, and she supports that... so this is my "Things I Know For Sure" post.

THINGS I KNOW FOR SURE

1. Life is not easy

2. The world needs more honesty

3. Mother's are the protectors of life

4. Sometimes the brave thing to do is give up

5. Contention is like sepsis to the soul

6. I love my husband

7. Being a mom is the very best thing I have ever done

8. Everyone needs a therapist

9. There must be opposition in all things

10. I need to loose weight, mop my floor and organize my office

11. My "mother's intuition" is a lot more exact than I ever expected it to be

12. Less is more

I have done a lot of self reflection lately and I have decided that I am getting rid of my current smart phone and trading it for my old cell phone... no more facebook and internet at the touch of a button.  I'm actually going to have to get out my lap top (god forbid) to wast time.  I have always thought a simplified life (1 TV in the house, no cable, less stuff) was how I wanted my life to be, and yet I have found myself in the past few years making long lists in my head of material "things I want."  No more.  I am done accumulating stuff and looking for what's next.

Was that Oprah-y enough? 

   

Easter

spilled over a bit, but we shined 'em up real good!

This was the 4th annual Easter party at the Gailfus household!  We decided to do things out doors this time since the weather was amazing!  I scaled back the party a little this year... kept things a little simpler for my sanity's sake.  I did spend some extra time on a unique birthday cake for my cousin Howie.  I found this idea that combined cake and decorating eggs... BIRTHDAY CAKE EGGS... you peel the shell off and inside the cake is shaped like an egg, which we decorated with frosting and devoured!  We placed all the eggs in a truffle dish and adored it with sparklers...which caused the fire alarms to go off in the house, but no harm no foul, it was FUN!!

Made out like a bandit!

So I still go back and forth about telling Nolan there is an Easter Bunny (or Santa or the tooth fairy…or anything of the sort), it feels so dishonest.  I, for one, stopped believing in God for a while when I found out Santa wasn't real…I was hard core atheist at 8.  I felt betrayed by so many people.  Granted I hated being a kid, I actually remember thinking that, and honestly I wouldn’t go back.  So maybe I was a weird kid who just took things too seriously.  Either way, I still have another year to decide AND Nolan seemed quite pleased with his basket.  Thank you to everyone for their sweet gifts that filled it up!           

Tummy time!

 Nolan is such a BIG boy!  He started out big (9lb 3 oz) so it has always been a struggle to keep up with his appetite.  But when I went back to work (even just part time) I was only able to pump 2 times over the course of 10 hours, when I usually feed him every 2 hours.  It really did a number on my milk production which made the rest of the week HELL for both him and I.  So, as guilty as a feel about it, I have pretty much given into the bottle.  I still nurse him 2 or 3 times a day but we are now a bottle feeding family.  I believe in breastfeeding 100% but when your 3 month old is like 17 pounds and all you do is sit on the couch so he can eat... I'm sorry I just couldn't do.  At least, thank God, Nolan still loves me and is such a happy, strong little man!   

Things around here have been a little stressful and money has been more tight that usual.  We are starting to feel the effects of 3 months of me not working.  But as tight as things have been... as of the 15th of April, I OWN MY CAR!  No more $600 payments and I already have in my hot little hands the clean title!  I can honestly say, I have learned my lesson and I will NEVER buy a new car again, ever!  Yes the warranty is nice but with how cars loose their value so quickly... not worth it!  Should have NEVER listened to those who said it was a good idea. *rolling my eyes* 

So with the extra stress of finances, going back to work last month and getting used to 'the new'... I finally would just like to say how wonderful my husband is.  He is so good to me and is such a great father!  I worried sick about the possibility of having to put Nolan in daycare before I got a part time spot at work, and though I miss my boys on the weekends, it is so nice to not have to worry one bit about the care Nolan gets when he is home with daddy!  And Nick seems to just understand that it is hard on me to be gone and so he always makes sure I get pictures of Nolan while I'm away.  This weekend Nolan "helped" daddy with a presentation for work... looks like he was a lot of help!   

I'm still alive...

Well, well, well...
If you have checked my blog in the last year, I must say you have checked it more than I.  Embarrassing!  But alas, here I am again, trying to redeem myself.  I face the dilemma many delinquent bloggers face... recap the last however-many months since the last blog or give it up and move on.  I'll do a little of both:

RECAP

Nick made "life time" at Weight Watcher and I'm still fat

Trina survived back surgery (3 of them)

Tatem has moved to Utah to play softball and go to school

Stopped doing investigations for Child Protective Service
Lost my first pregnancy along with a fallopian tube

Started work at the Child Abuse Hotline

Nick and I survived my second pregnancy

7 months preggers!

Went on a SUPER FUN rafting trip in Moab, UT with my cousin 
Went on a babymoon (kinda like a honeymoon)

4 wheeling

Had a blast decorating for the new baby... Nick worked SO hard on it! 

Nursery!

Celebrated our 2 year anniversary 

Still havin' fun!

Gave birth to an AMAZING little (well, maybe not so little) BOY!  

Proud Daddy!

Took a 12 hour (one way) road trip with my 2 month old and my cousin and her 3 kids... it took us 16 hours

I went back to work, part time (what a blessing!)

Went to the first D-backs game of the season with Kacey and Eddie and the kids (so fun to be able to say that!)

Mommy and her little peanut at Spring Training!

NEW STUFF

I want to start doing Yoga... don't want a large group of people watching me the first time I try it out...I think I'll rent a DVD from the library before I display my "skills" in public

Breastfeeding is completely overwhelming right now... I think I'm giving up, hope I don't regret it

I started teaching preschool, I have one pupil and I look forward to the days she is here

I think I would like to teach more than one child at a time

Nick and I went on a date tonight, it was exactly what I needed

Jen and I went to get our toes done...also, exactly what I needed

Nick's mom watched the little guy for 6 hours... may all good things come her way!

My mom went grocery shopping for me today, THANK YOU!!

I miss Talise

and

My sweet friend Kacey... you are in my thoughts (and prayers)

Long winded and thoughtful right?  hahahaha... This the blog of a mom, a real life, know your limits kind of mom and today (tonight rather) I can only muster "sentences" an English teacher would cringe at.  Maybe next week I'll write in complete sentences.     

Cheaters can Prosper...If it isn't Really Cheating

I love to cheat, when it comes to dieting, that is. It appears most of you know, how the Weight Watchers program works, food is rated on a point system based on the number of calories, fat and fiber it contains and based on your age, weight and lifestyle you are granted a certian number of points per day. Not as complicated as it seems. Anyway, I find myself eating and entire day's worth of points and not leaving room for desert, and God forbid I not have desert for an entire day. So last week after gaining weight, I decided to start smaller so I still feel like I can cheat, without ACTUALLY cheating....and, IT WORKED!! I have lost a total of 5 lbs. Nothing like my husband's 26.2 lbs but apparently I'm more of a mental case. So here's to another week of melting the pounds away....in Mesa.